My fiance holds two mortgages for two stepdaughters. I want him off of these before marriage. Am I right?
Mortgages
One stepdaughter is constantly late and the other is a flake. He also has an investment house that he can’t seem to get sold and can’t make the payments because his renters are always late paying.
Tags: Fiance, holds, marriage, Mortgages, stepdaughters.
He needs to get his financial house in order before the wedding. There is no reason you should be burdened with his mess
I agree, but good luck.
His problems will become your problems after you marry. Maybe not legally, but if he gets into money trouble, you will become involved.
However, there is more here then the mortgages. these are his kids and you are NOT the mother. If he can afford to make the payments for them, then there shouldn’t be a problem.
Maybe have him make the payments and the kids pay him back. This way his credit (and your future) is not impacted.
Remember, you are not just marrying him, but the family also.
I would love to come to him and be his agent but I am not
licensed anywhere yet but in AZ.
My suggestion is to HONESTLY use Tough LOVE; A TERM invented
by producers of the TV series on years ago, regarding prison
inmates. The inmates were sent to prison by relatives who tried
to help them but the inmate refused when at home.
in your case, give him this simple alternative;
sell all your props even at a loss–so that WE are not burdened
with this mess after we are married. I will withhold
our nuptials till this is solved. If this causes a rift in our
relationship, so be it.
HE is a loving wuss that can bring down your economic life.
personally, i would not be getting married to this man. he has too many encumberances on his finances, and his issues will become your issues when you get married (granted, legally, they cannot come after you for any loans that you have not signed upon…however, what happens when you want to buy a house with this guy? think he’s getting approved for a loan? hell no!).
as for his stepdaughters, this is exactly why business and family don’t mix. you can’t be emotional when it comes to collecting your money. you think that those girls would be trying this if they had a mortgage with chase, countrywide, or wells fargo? don’t think so! as for the investment property, this is why he should have gotten a property management company. his renters are late because they know that he won’t do anything. meanwhile, he is the only one suffering.
Mortgages are contracts, and merely demanding that he dissolve these mortgages may not make it happen. The 2 step daughters, can insist the term of the mortgage as dictated in the contract be upheld.
I would ask him to ask the stepdaughters to refinance the mortgages with a conventional bank. The investment house is trickier.
The easier thing to do might be to draw up an “after marriage” household budget and ask him to show you how your financial picture will look after you join households, incomes. If it shows that there is not enough money to sustain your needs as a couple, then you have to have a more difficult conversation about what to cut.